Strawberry Shakes

Strawberry Shakes
or
“Guess Who Ran The Red-Light”

I suppose it had to happen sooner or later.

I’ve always bragged about my driving record.
As with many, I started driving at the age of 16.

I’ll grant you; I’ve never traveled much cross-country
or in a foreign land, (such as Canada).
Still, no person of the law enforcement
has ever flagged me down.

I’ve always been quite proud of that.

 Oh yes, there was that time in New Hampshire.
Returning to the campground where our fifth-wheel awaited,
my husband was tired so I was driving.

. It was almost midnight.
You may wonder why the time would be of importance.
There were no cars to be seen on the highway through town.
Trying to navigate the unfamiliar left hand turn at a cross section,
I didn’t see the traffic light.
It was blinking red, apparently.

I could see the red flashing light of the police car
in the rear-view mirror.
The traffic officer appeared at my window.
Why he was cruising this deserted cross section at mid-night,
I’ll never know.
“I didn’t see the light, officer”, I said.
“I was searching for the turn and guess I was preoccupied”.

He was very nice and quietly said,
“You’ll need to be more careful in the future”.
There was no ticket…whew!

Now let me think.
The only time I received a traffic ticket
was in 2013
when
I was traveling a nearby local highway,
apparently at the speed of 74 mph
in a
55 mph zone.
A township officer, who was hiding in a nearby forest,
must have believed she had a live one.
She followed me persistently
until I pulled to the side of the road.
Informing me that she had clocked me at 74 mph in a 55 mph zone,
she said “Don’t you have a cruise control?”
“Yes officer” I said, “but it doesn’t work”.

“I’ll have to write you a ticket”.
Standing by the car she began to fill out the citation.
“I have not had a ticket since I started to drive at the age of 16,”
I said, smiling quietly.

” I suppose I will have to quit telling my friends
I’m a “virgin driver”.
(I was quite sure she’d noticed my birth year of 1935
on the driver’s license.)

An understanding smile crossed her face.
“I’ll just write the ticket for 60 mph.”
“But be careful you don’t get another within the next three years
or your insurance will increase.”

 Thanking her profusely,I drove on my merry way,
silently cherishing my sense of humor
which was inherited from my Mother.

Continuing:

Last Monday I drove a few miles to our local McDonald’s
to buy myself a Big Mac and an order of fries.
Just as I left home,
my son said “Pick me up a large strawberry shake”.

 I did.

As is my usual routine
I drove through the Wall-Mart parking lot
in order enter the main highway at the light.
It’s safer.

As I approached the light,
it was green.
Slowly proceeding across the highway
I prepared to turn left.

At this point I can only tell you what I assume happened.
There was a loud bump on the driver’s side of my car.
The side airbag inflated.
Truthfully, I wasn’t aware of it at the time.

The car was now tilted a little bit to the right.
A quick look told me there was a strawberry shake
all over my car,
up, down, and sideways.

As I recall,
the Big Mac and fries
were never seen again.

Wondering where my glasses were,
I found them to be sitting on the dashboard
on the passenger side of the car.

Now that’s odd, or maybe it isn’t.

A nice gentleman came over to the car
and asked me if I was all right.
“Yes, I’m fine”, I said.
(Later was when I found the scrapes and bruises and aches,
but I digress.)

My son came to give me a ride home
and the wrecker took my car away.

A few days later the insurance adjuster called to inform me
the car was totaled.

I now have a new car,
a new appreciation for driver side airbags,
an understanding of the need for seat belts
and some other things I haven’t thought of yet.

The lady in the car that crashed into me
had run through a red light
and apparently wasn’t aware of the color.
(Until she collided with me, of course.)

The lady’s car was also totaled.

Oh yes, there is one thing that has recently occurred to me.
It must become part of my driving habits,
when approaching a green light in the future.
Make sure that no one is coming from the right or the left,
who is acting like they are making
no preparation for stopping at a red light.

 I can remember that.
copyright@2018
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