Old Habits Are Hard To Change

“You need to change your ways!”
I’ve heard that statement many times. 
Like the words to an old song, 
they keep going ’round in my mind.
One of my life changing events
 was in early spring, 
as I recall.
 A few years before,
my husband and I 
had decided to raise sheep.


 The idea itself was a bit unexpected.

One day, I had suggested we should get a lamb.. 

After all, we have this little farm.
Our grandkids live next door, 
it would be fun.

 It wasn’t long 
before my husband came home
 announcing
he’d found a lamb.

 In fact, he’d found two, a male and a female. 
They were orphans.
They needed people to love them.
That would be us.

I don’t remember the exact time frame
as the events began to unfold.

It wasn’t long after their arrival,

 I casually suggested we should start 
a flock of sheep.

After all, we have “Bo” and “Betsy” and the grandkids love them.

We have this big old barn 
with nothing in it but nothing.

It was then we began our search for mature ewes.

 We would use them to build our flock.
 We had “Bo”.
 He wasn’t what you’d call a breeder yet,

He would be in a year or so
when he was no longer “a lamb.”
 The plan to become shepherds 
was quickly put into action.
We were proud and excited about our new endeavor.

 My husband had been in the retail hardware business for several years.
 I owned and operated a Hallmark shop. 
This would be fun.
A little something extra to give us a new hobby.
One day a gentleman came to call
 who was interested in our lambing operation.
I was more than happy
 to show him
  our nearly 100 year old barn,
 and to view our new flock of sheep.
Now, this is the point where I veer away from the sheep
 and explain some of my habits to you.

 I wouldn’t even be telling you this
 if it wasn’t that I had recently seen posts on Facebook 
from women 
who had observed the same event
 that I had experienced
on my journey to the barn that day.
Without getting too personal
 I’m going to reveal my lifetime habit 
of getting ready for bed at night. 

Included in said habit, 
would be the removing of my jeans and underwear
 in one swift motion. 
Unfortunately this has, on occasion, 
caused a slight “public” embarrassment.
(How could that be? I said I would be
getting ready for bed “at night”.)
How could that possibly affect my actions in the daytime?
However, 
back to the fine gentleman 
who had come to look at our flock.
We were walking to the barn
 when he turned around, 
looked quickly back toward the driveway, 
and said,
 “Oh! You’ve dropped your hanky.” 

Intuitively I knew what I was about to see.

 The clump of white lying in the driveway 
was instantly recognizable to me. 
It was definitely not my hanky. 
It was my underwear, 
which had been clinging,
 (with the help of static electricity from the dryer, )
to the inside of my jeans. 

The undergarment had chosen that moment 
to release itself from the fabric of my jeans,
 and to embrace the ground 
in the driveway.
“I’ll get it”, he said,
 turning around and taking a step
 toward the object. 
“No”, I said, 
“I’ll get it”.  
We were immediately in competition
 to get to “the hanky”first .

 I outran him by seconds,
 scooped up ‘the hanky’ 
and shoved ‘it’ 
into my jacket pocket.

 Bless his heart.
 He seemed totally unaware ,
of the rapid beating of my heart,
 which was not caused
 from the run
 to the area of the driveway
 in question.
You might think 
the experience would have been a lesson
 forever etched in my mind.
 However, that was not to be.
Continuing…
One quiet morning in summer 
I had opened my Hallmark Shop at nine a.m.
 so my employees wouldn’t have to come in
 until later.

 A pleasant fellow was the first to stop by.
 As he stood just inside the front door,
 we visited for twenty minutes or so.

 As he turned to leave, he said, 
“You may want to check the leg of your slacks
 near your ankle”.  

With that, he went upon his way.
Looking down at my foot,
  in full view
 was a visible display of one of my nylons, 
which was making its way
 past the static electricity in my slacks
 to heaven knows where.

Can you imagine
  what the nice fellow must have been thinking 
as we stood there and talked?
 He apparently had decided 
he would tell me 
just as he went out the door
 without looking back
 at the expression on my face. 

I don’t know if men are prone to giggling. 
But I’ll bet he was giggling

 as he made his way to the car.

At this moment,
 it’s important for me to tell you
  I’ve never had either of these experiences again.

 I really have changed my ways,
 about some things.

My friends and family would tell you 
I still have some changing to do.

At Christmas that year, 
 my family saw fit 
to give me a bottle of fabric softener 
and a pair of nylons
with lace edged suspenders sewn on them.
One of the changes I have yet to make
 is not to share with anyone 
the embarrassing things 
that happen to me.

 

I need to change my ways!

copyright@2018
Photographs By Mary Anne Tuck
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